e-book Growing Self-Confidence

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Further, one way in which we gain a healthy sense of self-worth is through early and frequent experiences of success.

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Successful experiences boost our sense of competency and mastery and make us feel just plain good about ourselves. Successful experiences also open the door for taking healthy risks and the success that often follows. Just be sure that these opportunities are truly opportunities for her to succeed on her own—a helping hand is fine, but we need to figure out how to do some things on our own to build a healthy sense of self-worth Clark-Jones, Check out the two tips below to learn how to go about it.

First, take a look back at the list of what does not determine self-worth. Remind yourself that your bank account, job title, attractiveness, and social media following have nothing to do with how valuable or worthy a person you are. Second, work on identifying, challenging, and externalizing your critical inner voice. We all have an inner critic that loves to nitpick and point out our flaws Firestone, Whenever you notice your inner critic start to fire up with the criticisms, make her pause for a moment.

If none of those things are true, feel free to tell her to see herself out!

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For more specific activities and ideas, see the exercises, activities, and worksheets we cover later in this piece. One of the most common mistakes you see people with low self-esteem make is to base their self-worth on one aspect of their lives—and often, that aspect is a relationship. However, you should work on feeling good about yourself whether you are in a relationship or not.

The love of another person does not define you, nor does it define your value as a person. Whether you are single, casually seeing people, building a solid relationship with someone, or celebrating your 30th wedding anniversary with your spouse, you are worthy of love and respect, and you should make time to practice self-acceptance and self-compassion. This is true for people of any relationship status, but it may be especially important for those in long-term relationships.

It can make breakups and grief much harder than they need to be. When you learn to love yourself, you become better able to love someone else. People with high self-respect tend to have more satisfying, loving, and stable relationships than those who do not, precisely because they know that they need to first find their worth, esteem, and happiness within themselves.

1. Practice Good Personal Hygiene

Two people who are lit with self-worth and happiness from within make are much brighter than two people who are trying to absorb light from each other Grande, Similar to the dangers of anchoring your self-worth to someone else, there are big risks in tying your self-worth to your job. Like a significant other, jobs can come and go—sometimes without warning.

You can be let go, laid off, transitioned, dehired, dismissed, downsized, redirected, released, selectively separated, terminated, replaced, asked to resign, or just plain fired. You could also be transferred, promoted, demoted, or given new duties and responsibilities that no longer mesh with the sense of self-worth your previous duties and responsibilities gave you.

You could also quit, take a new job, take some time off, or retire—all things that can be wonderful life transitions, but that can be unnecessarily difficult if you base too much of your self-worth on your job. We are all so much more than a job. Believing that we are nothing more than a job is detrimental to our well-being and can be disastrous in times of crisis.

Are you interested in getting an idea of what your current level of self-worth is? There is a scale that is perfectly suited for this curiosity.

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It consists of 35 items that measure self-worth in seven different domains. These seven domains, with an example item from each domain, are:. Each item is rated on a scale from 1 strongly disagree to 7 strongly agree. Once you have rated each item, sum the answers to the five items for each domain and divide the total by 5 for the sub-scale score. To learn more about this scale or use it to determine your own self-worth, click here. According to author and self-growth guru Adam Sicinski, there are five vital exercises for developing and maintaining self-worth.

An important activity on the road to self-worth is to build self-understanding. You need to learn who you are and what you want before you can decide you are a worthy human being. Sicinski recommends this simple thought experiment to work on increasing your understanding of yourself:. Spend some time on each step, but especially on the steps that remind you of your worth and your value as a person e. Once you have a better idea of who you are, the next step is to enhance your acceptance of yourself.

Start by forgiving yourself for anything you noted in item 5 above. Think of any struggles, needs for improvement, mistakes, and bad habits you have, and commit to forgiving yourself and accepting yourself without judgment or excuses. Think about everything you learned about yourself in the first exercise and repeat these statements:. Now that you have worked on accepting yourself for who you are, you can begin to build love and care for yourself. Make it a goal to extend yourself kindness, tolerance, generosity, and compassion.

To boost self-love, start paying attention to the tone you use with yourself. Commit to being more positive and uplifting when talking to yourself. Once you understand, accept, and love yourself, you will reach a point where you no longer depend on people, accomplishments, or other external factors for your self-worth. In this stage, you will practice being responsible for yourself, your circumstances, and your problems. Remind yourself of what you have learned through all of these exercises, and know that you hold the power in your own life.

Revel in your well-earned sense of self-worth and make sure to maintain it. Check out the four worksheets below that can help you build your self-worth. This worksheet outlines a simple way to build self-worth. It only requires a pen or pencil and a few minutes to complete.

What is Self-Worth and How Do We Increase it? (Incl. 4 Worksheets)

Feel free to use it for yourself or for your adult clients, but it was designed for kids and can be especially effective for them. If your youngster is too young to write down his own answers, sit with him and help him record his responses. To see this worksheet in its original form from TherapistAid.

This worksheet is good for a wide audience, including children, adolescents, young adults, and older adults. Completing this worksheet will help you get a handle on your personal sense of understanding, acceptance, respect, and love for yourself. These statements are:. Add up all of the ratings for these 15 statements to get your total score, then rate your overall sense of self-esteem on a scale from 0 I completely dislike who I am to 10 I completely like who I am.

Click here to preview this worksheet for yourself or click here to view it in a collection of self-esteem-building, small-group counseling lesson plans. For each of the eight sections, there are three spaces to respond; however, if you have more than three things to write down, feel free to do so.

There are many out there to choose from. To learn more about self-worth and how to improve it, check out some of the most popular books about this subject on Amazon:.

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In her talk, Niko Everett, the founder of the organization Girls for Change, discusses inspiring ways to build up your self-esteem. Heidi Landes, a parenting coach who is herself a mother of four kids, explains how the longtime focus on building self-esteem in children might be misguided. Current research indicates that self-control is a more important trait than self-esteem, Landes argues. Judge Helen Whitener discusses self-worth through the lens of social justice and equality in this talk.

Sometimes all we need to kickstart or motivate us to work on our self-love and self-worth is a good, insightful quote. Only you can be responsible for that. Accept who you are—completely; the good and the bad—and make changes as YOU see fit—not because you think someone else want you to be different.

An original is worth more than a copy. Learning about self-worth can teach you how to be more happy and fulfilled in your authentic, loveable self. What do you think is the most important takeaway from research on this topic? Do you think lack of self-worth is a problem?

Or perhaps you think an excess of self-worth is the bigger problem today? Let us know in the comments section. Was this article useful to you?